Gambling Corner: Why betting on Kenyan football will give you ulcers and it’s real

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There was no English Premier League football last weekend. That means there was nothing to smile about in my hood because we did not throng Muge’s hall as always during EPL showdown. But there was Manchester United vs Huddersfield playing in a boring FA Cup fixture and just like Tabu, I wasn’t amused about it. You all know what happened to me the last time I placed a bet on Manchester United anyway, so I will avoid them like plague.

However, we needed money and since my friend Tabu had just been paid his advance at Industrial Area, we had the luxury to brag. Because we had a few one hundred shillings notes and that we could easily place more than two long bet slips. It was our day, our weekend. After deliberating on our next cause of action, we resorted to build our own game. Like to make money from supporting our own football. The Kenyan Premier League that is.

We sat on a wooden bench, relaxed, composed and energized. We looked at our mates with that face asking if they needed anything. And being the pro I am in this game, I was tasked with selecting the matches. I became Sportika’s CK somehow, but he is way above me, honestly. I surfed the net for the limited information about our league, the teams and fixtures.

The only thing we both knew was that Gor Mahia are the best team in Kenya and AFC Leopards are neither here nor there. Annoyingly, the two were not on duty over the weekend. That left us (Tabu and I) with the most difficult job. To find out who on earth Wazito FC were and whether or not they scored a goal before.

There were four fixtures for Saturday and three for Sunday. And since we needed at leas Sh50,000 from our combined bets, we extended to Sunday fixtures. I asked Tabu if that idea was correct and he said yes. Then bang! We placed the bets.

Our target was wins for Wazito, Nzoia, Kariobangi Sharks; Over 2.5 on Vihiga vs Posta Rangers, Sony vs Zoo Kericho and Thika United vs Bandari. Then Tabu added that we put both teams to score on Ulinzi Stars vs Mathare United. “I know the soldiers, they are often so ruthless and I’m sure they will discipline the slum boys (Mathare United),” Tabu said. Adding that “But they(Ulinzi)  have a leaking defence.”

Each one of us was to get Sh67,000 from the bets. We had not planned on what to do with the money but at the back of my mind, I needed to relocate from my current estate. I asked Tabu if he had any plans. He said he wanted to marry since ‘time was catching up with him.’ And that Sh30,000 would be enough.

We went into the fantasy world but by 6pm Saturday, we had literally scored zero from the bets. We thought life was being unfair to us yet again. But was it really our fault? Something is definitely wrong with our local league and they will never see our money again!

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